Regresando a Los Estados

A weird anticipation was with me for the week before I left to visit the States. Anxious over several possible things I suppose – the questions, questions and more questions, then working to not be annoyed with the people that don’t have any questions or curiosity about my life, the looks of “whatever” on people’s faces, the stress of trying to see everyone, or the hurt feelings because some couldn’t come to see me, seeing my parents sad, but accepting the sacrifice for my happiness, the mixed emotions about leaving again and on and on and on.

I have a thing with traveling. I’m fascinated with airports, bus and train stations. I could sit and wonder where everyone is going and why for hours. So, when I travel or when someone I love travels I like to be there to send them off. Sometimes people go for good or bad reasons. Either way it’s nice to have someone there when you leave to know you have something to come back to, and it’s nice to be received on the opposite end. The feeling of wanting to run the sniffly, snoring guy next to you over when the captain shuts off the seatbelt sign in order to get out and see a familiar face is so cool. I suppose it happened when we used to leave Scott at the airport not knowing when he’d return. Ma and I had to wait till the plane was out of site. What if he looked back? He would need to see us.

So, since I was already feeling a little emotional about my first trip back my solo walk to the bus stop at 5:30 in the morning for a looooooong day of travel was…a little icky. I was also a bit crabby from lack of sleep. Thanks to my boy Rigo, Mr. Social, I was out till 2:30am. I was never good at math, but I think that’s about 2 hours of sleep post the shower I needed before bed. I had been at Bambu Jam for a good fix of latin dancing before heading to the States. That means a real good sweat session. OK, TMI.

I loaded my near empty suitcase below the bus. It only contained the clothes that no longer fit because I’m an even 10 pounds heavier than when I arrived 4 months ago. Oh well, know what they say…Pura Vida. Then the bus rolled out. I looked straight ahead as not to be reminded that there was no one there to wave good bye, or I’ll be back, to. He’s forgiven, but damn Rigo. However, as the bus left Quepos a feeling hit me, an overwhelming “you’ll be back and we’re waiting for you” feeling. The wave would have been nice, but remembering all the hugs and well wishes from the night before was all the reminder I needed that I am truly welcome and settling in here. All thoughts faded quickly once I got a window seat with no neighbor!

I was out for the next two hours. Waking up to sunshine on my face and the views that I never get tired of. We pit stopped – pee pee time and yup, empanada time. I knew I wasn’t going to like the scale when I got back, I knew I had to face the reaper (my trainer Jimmy) and get my act together for phase 2 of this journey, so, I indulged. An empanada for the road, delicioso.

Back on the road there were walls of mountains that in an instant opened to clear blue sky. A white horse popped up against the green that I could have sworn was a unicorn actually. I looked twice thinking the vision was part dream in my sleepy state. And of course, little mini roadside waterfalls all along the way. I soaked up the views before my almost two week hiatus and began to get super excited to see my friends and family. I was officially ready for my reunion with my people. I feel loved every day here and from afar, rarely am I alone, but now in this moment I grew excited for the kind of hugs that can only come from these people, the family and lifelong friends, that I was about to see. These hugs go at the top of the “Things I Miss List”.

“The moment you lose someone dear to you, it becomes evident what’s unimportant.” Renee Zelleweger

Hugs, so important.

Probably more on the trip later...stay tuned.